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"Freestyle" Versuch ^^

Verfasst: 14.02.2009, 21:31
von Wanna Ice
Wanna will´s "zeigen",
Ihr könnt eure Köpfe "neigen",
Ich bin nicht der Bozz ich bin der "King",
Man hast du nicht mitgespietl bei The "Ring" ?
Homes scheiss drauf ist "egal",
Du stellst meine Platten ins "Regal",
Das ist "Drogen" "Rap",
Die "Drogen" die du "Rapst",
Gibt es garnicht ( "Löwenzahn" )
Du geierst wie die "Möwen",
Ihr dreht euch wie ein "karusel",
Komm gib er den "Fusel",


*hust* :tired:

Verfasst: 14.02.2009, 21:47
von ghoil
nich so nä^^

Verfasst: 14.02.2009, 22:14
von Wanna Ice
nur einer ? Das ist so schlecht da könne mindestens 2 posts kommen :razz:

Kritik ist oft besser für anfänger also haut raus :oops:

Verfasst: 14.02.2009, 22:30
von Eyez
hah okee .
also ..

Wanna will´s "zeigen",
Ihr könnt eure Köpfe "neigen",

ahm erste line für den einstieg nich so gut
(kommt nich gut rüber was du zeigen willst ne)
zweite..ähm meinst du das ernst ?
formulierung ist unpassend
ch bin nicht der Bozz ich bin der "King",
Man hast du nicht mitgespietl bei The "Ring" ?

najaa ist ganz okee & zweite wieder schlecht
formuliert ne
Homes scheiss drauf ist "egal",
Du stellst meine Platten ins "Regal",[/i)
hat keinen wirklichen sinn auch kein representing

den rest kann man sich sparen wiederholt sich ..
les dir einfach mal gute texte durch & versuch deine
Formulierungen zu verbessern...

Verfasst: 14.02.2009, 23:31
von TraiZ
naja halt ein versuch.. ist langweilig, total standart, das kann ich dir im halbschlaf hinfreestylen.. tut mir leid aber das ist echt schwach...

Verfasst: 16.02.2009, 01:03
von bcp
wanna wills zeigen, wie rentner erinnerungsfotos

sowas hät kommen müssen mehr vergleiche :P und arbeite an deinen reimen alles standarts

Re: "Freestyle" Versuch ^^

Verfasst: 16.03.2021, 07:14
von Mahi01
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Re: "Freestyle" Versuch ^^

Verfasst: 17.03.2021, 07:18
von Mahi01
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Re: "Freestyle" Versuch ^^

Verfasst: 17.03.2021, 07:19
von Mahi01
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Re: "Freestyle" Versuch ^^

Verfasst: 17.03.2021, 07:19
von Mahi01
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